60 Responses to Typical Comments Vegans Get From Non-Vegans

Kimberly's picture

Here are some questions often asked of vegans (Hey! Wait a second! I'm a vegan!!) After reading the wise, mature, measured responses of thirty-five year vegan Butterflies Katz, the well respected blogger of Veganism: A Truth Whose Time Has Come, this is how I would answer the same questions.

Humans need animal products for survival. You will die earlier. There are things in meat, which your body needs and you cannot get from any other kind of food.

You've got it completely bass ackwards. Humans need plant products for survival. Case in point: Inuits living in the polar regions subsist mainly on seal meat and whale blubber. Their life expectancy is about 35 years. The longest lived people in the US, on the other hand, are Seventh Day Adventists -- lifelong vegetarians by religious mandate.

We’re cutting down all the rainforests to grow soybeans; we wouldn’t have enough land to grow soybeans if everyone went vegan because deforestation in the developing world to grow cheap soy for human and animal feed is a major issue in climate change.

62 percent of the Amazonian rainforest that is clear cut is clear cut for cattle production. Not to mention it takes seventeen times the amount of soy (and therefore seventeen times the land to grow it upon) to feed a cow than it does to feed human his eda mame and tofu.

“Oh but I love my meat” –or- “I can’t give up my meat/cheese”.

You love your meat? Good, then cut a chunk off your left butt cheek and have a nice ass roast. You may harvest your toe cheese at a proper vintage, judging by smell. Anything else isn't YOUR meat or cheese, it's someone else's.

The Bible and God say that animals are here for humans to use. Humans have dominion over other animals. 

The Bible also says to kill gays and practicing witches on sight. No thanks.

Fish don’t feel pain and are not sentient. Do you eat fish?

Of course they feel pain, you boob. Sentience is not your invention, so don't try to own words you don't understand. I used to eat fish before I realized I was being a complete and total hypocrite whenever I ate it, so now I don't.

I’m vegan at home or with other vegans, but it’s rude or impolite to inconvenience others or make a fuss when dining out with non-vegans.

It must suck living in abject fear of other people thinking badly of you.

It is clear that humans are predators just like many other animals. We are no different to other animals; lions eat zebras. I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to eat plants!

Precisely! So that's why you'll be absolutely fine when I drop you naked and without weapons or food in the middle of the Sudan for two weeks. You go catch that gazelle you were biologically meant to eat. Claw through that baby with your fearsome fingernails and chew through his hide before a lion decides you're her lunch!

I wouldn't be vegan because of DHA, vegans can’t naturally get long-chain fatty acids.

I had no idea you were so well-researched in the realm of human health. Do you know what DHA stands for or what roles it plays in the human body? My, the crickets are loud this evening.

You must be anemic.

Funny you mention that; I used to be severely anemic. My doctor told me to eat meat and take iron pills, which I did. I stayed anemic. Then I stopped eating meat, dairy, and eggs and it went away.

People have been eating meat since millions of years ago, so it must be the right thing. 

That is fascinating. I had no idea you were an immortal undead vampire because of course you were there. Even if prehistoric humans ate meat, that makes it just as "right" as other things people have been doing for millions of years, like rape and murder.

What kind of religion or sect is this?

It's the opposite of your religion, which is Carnism.

Hitler was a vegetarian…

He wasn't, but even if he was, you still wouldn't have a point.

There would be shortages of food.

What part of "it takes up to seventeen times the plant food to feed a livestock animal as it does to feed a human directly" have you failed to understand?

If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did He make them out of delicious meat?

Human babies yield the most delicious, tender meat of all... Mmmm. Babies.

You would eat meat if you were stranded on a desert island, wouldn't you?  What about indigenous people or Inuits? 

Actually, I'd rather die than take a life, or at least that's what I think I'd rather do. I don't get stranded on desert islands much, though I assume you do all the time as you seem so serious when you pose your question. As for indigenous people or Inuits, I'm all for leaving their wilderness untouched so they can have it all to themselves. My idea of roughing it is staying at a Holiday Inn with NO continental breakfast.

Why do you care more about animals than human beings? 

Why do you presume I care more about animals than human beings when all of my daily actions help your children to survive? I deliberately chose not to have children and still I live as lightly as possible. I am not a person who parties like it is 1999. I forgo a great many niceties, up to and including HAVING CHILDREN because I don't want to leave a legacy of a landfill full of plastic diapers or an extinction-causing slaughterhouse waste algae bloom for your kids to enjoy. What's your excuse?

You vegans are so preachy!

I'll stop preaching when you stop shoving Burger King ads in my face while subsidizing the animal abuse industry and throwing salt on the wound by forcing me to pay for your dad's lifestyle disease with my healthy-person insurance and tax dollars.

Humans have canine teeth; teeth for ripping flesh apart.

You. Naked. In the Sudan. NOW.

If we don't eat them, they'll eat us.

Why the hell hasn't your dog eaten you yet? Geez, what do I have to do to speed up the process? Must I slather you in Alpo?

They wouldn't exist if we weren't meant to eat them.

You wouldn't exist if your mother hadn't been drunk as hell that night.

If eating a plant-based diet is our natural diet, why can’t you get all the nutrients without supplementing, as in Vitamin B12?

You know how humans get B12? By eating dirt and feces. That's how other animals get it. Nowadays, we wash our food, so everybody is missing some B12, though meat-eaters still get a little feces in every burger, so they are less deficient. You can go fish the woods for raccoon poo to cure your deficiency if you like; I'll stick to taking a B12 pill, thanks.

I buy organic so the animals are more humanely raised. They had a good life. Small farms are good for the environment. I support cage-free, humanely raised, but I don’t support cruelty to animals.

Imagine you adopt a dog. You treat her like Queen Dog every day of her life until she is about one and a half years old and reaches the age of being a tasty hunk of meat. You call the slaughter truck and they pack her into a crowded vehicle with sixty other dehydrated, terrified, frightened animals. She goes to the same slaughterhouse as other dogs raised in factories because it is illegal to home-slaughter a meat animal. Right before the bolt goes through her brain, this is her last thought:

"I miss my Mommy and Daddy. I don't know what I did so bad to deserve this. I wish I could go home."

The better you treat a meat animal, the worse a person you are when you betray that animal.

Some animals are meant to be food; there is a difference between pets and food animals.

You've obviously not been to certain parts of Korea and China, nor have you ever had a goat or a pig as a pet. Give me a call when you have completed either life experience.

It’s too difficult to do and too expensive.  I’m too old for that.

Funny, because I have managed it on a single, lower-middle class income for over a year and the poorest people in the world do it for pennies a day. As for being too old, it takes about three weeks to change a habit. My condolences if you've only got three weeks to live. You'd still be better off as a vegan for those three weeks.

Farmers love their animals and treat them well, generally.

That's why kids love visiting the Tyson Factory on field trips! Family farms are great too, just like Clarice's memory of her uncle's farm in Silence of the Lambs. It's hours of fun. So many fun smells and sounds. Much better than going to a farm animal sanctuary.

It’s not illegal to eat animals and their products.

Not yet, anyway. If it was up to me, packages of chicken breasts would be stamped with the Surgeon General's warning.

I live a very active lifestyle and need lots of protein.

Google "vegan bodybuilders" and get back to me.

Poor people raise animals or fish (for free) and can’t afford to be vegan.

Poor children scavenge trash heaps for discarded computer equipment so they can salvage the semi-precious metals in them for domineering pimps. When you are reduced to doing what you have to do to, like sleeping during the day because the rapists come out by night, then we'll talk about how it's so impossible for you to be vegan in your nice neighborhood where you can drive your heated car to the twenty-four hour grocery store that carries fresh fruit in the middle of winter. They may not be able to "afford" being vegan, but evidently you can.

I travel too much; too inconvenient to be vegan.

I find US laws inconvenient, so I go to Thailand when I want to solicit ten year old prostitutes. Oh wait, I don't do that, because I take my morals with me wherever I go.

If we didn't eat them, what would happen to all the animals?

It would be like Planet of the Apes, but with cows!!!

Animals are lesser creatures than humans and we control them.

Says the member of the genius, self-congratulating race that is poisoning the climate for everyone and creating tons of nuclear waste with a radioactive half-life of 4.5 billion years... the Earth itself is only 4.5 billion years old.

It doesn't bother me when I see animals being slaughtered, or I don’t look; I don’t want to know.

It didn't bother Ed Gein either. Or Jeffrey Dahmer. In fact, both of them kind of got off on it.

Milk, eggs and cheese do not kill the animal.

No, they just exploit her for her reproductive ability and ensure that she'll be pregnant her entire life and her babies will always been kidnapped right after they're born... that's so much better than dying.

Eating animal products is mainstream – everyone does it. It’s traditional. 

Kim Kardashian, Beyonce, and Justin Bieber are mainstream -- everyone knows who they are. I rest my case.

Vegans are unhealthy.

Meat-eaters are worse. Last time I checked, vegans were not the ones over-populating nursing homes and hospitals while dying the death of a thousand cuts: diabetes, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson's disease, Alzheimer's, cancer, etc.

C’mon, I'm kind and gentle and I love a good steak or fish.

There are plenty of heroin addicts and alcoholics who are very nice people too.

But the animals wouldn't be here if it wasn't for us!

If we had only left them alone ten thousand years ago, we'd have entire thriving pristine ecosystems that might have offset the industrial revolution that is killing our planet and will make our world uninhabitable within three hundred years or less. We might have been spared the dire fate coming our way had we never domesticated animals in the first place and learned to live in harmony with Nature rather than fighting her every step of the way.

But wouldn't the economic consequences be disastrous for the farmers of animals?

If every factory farmer turned into a farm sanctuary CEO right now and employed all former slaughterhouse workers as animal caretakers, we'd create enough jobs to revitalize the economy for a hundred years, not to mention armies of happy people and animals.

Humans are at the top of the food chain!

Tell me about that in 20 - 40 years when you are sitting in the copious weepings of your own bedsores in the nursing home, biding your time between Two and A Half Men reruns while awaiting your next organ transplant / diabetic amputation / dialysis / tumor removal. Tell me about how you were meant to eat your meaty diet as your breathing machine chokes on MRSA as your pacemaker ticks just a little slower with each passing minute. When you're begging for death because no amount of opiates can ease the pain of your atrophied limbs and failing organs, you'll see just how carnivorous you were always meant to be. Don't worry, I'll be sure to wave to you as I ride my bike around the home on the way to the vegan restaurant opening in the former McDonald's.

I can't go vegan, I don't like to eat vegetables. I don't want to eat tofu and grass, or I don't like vegan food.

You must have been a real treat at four years old when you forced your mommy to cook an entire second gourmet meal for your sorry, spoiled ass. Personally, I would have given you the spanking of your life and sent you to bed without supper. Look at the insufferable monster bad parenting made!

Animals have no soul, they don't feel pain.

Any person callous enough to say such a thing is the one without a soul. You are not allowed to displace your lack of soul upon innocent beings out of jealousy.

Our species evolved by eating meat - our brain size was not possible without it.

Nope. It was cooked starchy carbohydrates, not meat, that gave us the edge.

North American Indigenous people ate meat and they respected the animals.

They also didn't go out into the woods with guns to assassinate Bambi as if they were trying to take out a German command patrol in WWII. If you have such respect for animals, then you can also craft your own bow and arrow with birch wood, sinews, and slate and stalk the deep woods like a real Iroquois. Instead, you buy an assault bow that was made with alloys mined from central Africa and strung with heavy-duty nylon and equipped with a laser sight. The only thing that makes the contest slightly more fair between you and the deer is your physical handicap: a massive gut obtained mostly via drinking lots of beer and eating deep-fried, factory farmed animal parts.

It's okay if it's organic and grass-fed and humanely slaughtered.

According to that logic, it's also okay if I kill and eat your dog. Or your kid.

Plants have feelings too.

Ad plantarum. You lose. I've covered this; read it and weep.

Rights apply only to humans not to animals, humans are superior.

The Nazi says: Sieg heil!

Vegans are just being self-righteous.

It's a hell of a lot better than being a hypocrite.

What we eat is a personal choice.

It's also my personal choice if I wish to rape you.

It's my culture, it's my religion to eat animals.

So you're the only one who grew up in a specific culture? News flash: other people have cultures too and yours isn't better or more deserving of preservation than theirs. I also grew up eating meat. My culture is/was Midwestern German-American, which means beer brats, sauerkraut, and polka music to the uninitiated. I kept the culture and subbed out the beer brats for vegan beer brats. It wasn't rocket surgery.

I only buy meat where I know the animal had a good life and was humanely killed.

Ha ha LOL again refer to my story about the "humanely" slaughtered dog.

Nothing is going to change, so there's no point in going vegan.

Life sucks, hang yourself now.

It's the end of the world; we should enjoy the food as much as we can.

Absolutely! We should enjoy all the food we can. Animals and their secretions do not qualify as food. Still, we'll have plenty to eat. Bring on the donuts, french fries, whiskey sours, and cashew cheese!

If we didn't eat meat the cows would die. No one would be farming them.

So they would die peaceful, natural deaths because humans would no longer be breeding them for profit? Cool.

Vegans don't care about animal suffering. They only care about their agenda. They want to see all small family farmers go out of business so all that's left is factory farms and it will be easier to convince people to go vegan.

I have absolutely nothing to gain by caring about animal suffering. Yet I do anyway because it is the RIGHT THING TO DO. If that is an agenda, then I guess I have one.

If we don't drink milk the cows would die from not being milked. We’re helping them.

Cows only give milk when they are pregnant. If female cows are not forced to be pregnant, they won't have milk. If they do get pregnant, then the baby cow will be there to relieve the pressure because he or she won't be stolen away to be kept in a veal pen (or just outright killed). Problem solved.

What do you eat?

It would be easier to ask what I don't eat. Basically I eat everything you eat but I leave out the dead stuff and cubes of congealed animal fat (dairy) while attempting to eat every color of the rainbow save Cheeto florescent orange. I eat far better than I did as an ova-lacto vegetarian or as a meat eater. I also eat more and don't gain weight as easily.

You should be out helping people, not animals.

You should be helping people by freeing up land so people can use it for food instead of you using it to feed a cow for your own greedy palate. You should help people by not poisoning their rivers with waste from the chicken farm you support with your $4.99 at KFC. You should be helping people by sparing a slaughterhouse worker a horrible, below living wage job and providing him or her a peaceful alternative at a veggie meat or Beyond Eggs factory. Instead, you ensure he or she has one of the worst jobs in existence because you create the demand for such a job.

Small animals die when grains are harvested, so you don't care about small animals?

The animals you eat didn't eat rocks or air. They ate corn and soy harvested by giant threshers. By default, you kill up to seventeen times the small animals with your diet because the cows and pigs you eat chomp all that grain, you eat it indirectly. Why don't you care about small animals?

Jesus ate fish. The Torah or the Bible says that animals were put here for human use.

I think Jesus was a vegan. The Torah and the Bible say that man is to be a steward of animals. I don't remember anything in there about factory farms.

"But I didn't kill other animals, they were already dead."

What you are saying is you only eat roadkill. Interesting.

"I don't care about animals" or "I don't have compassion for animals that are used for food, clothing, entertainment, experimentation".

Thanks for admitting you're an unrepentant psychopath. You've just alerted me to the fact you are mentally unstable and prone to bouts of random psychosis. I imagine you watching the Faces of Death series with a looney, menacing grin on your face. I've got a pressing appointment. No, that's okay, I can't receive texts and my phone was disconnected an hour ago. And I'm moving to Europe -- I'll mail you a postcard once I settle in. Pinky swear I will!