You may wonder just how my convoluted little brain ties together the rise of the American obese, the prevalence of kiddy-diddlers and homosexuals among seemingly innocuous old guys, and a woman's right to choose to have an abortion. Or perhaps you don't wonder at all. It doesn't matter -- I'll tell you anyway!
Statistics have it that sixty percent of Americans are overweight to obese. From what I saw in the parking lot of a crowded movie theater on a Friday night in my Midwestern neck of the woods, I would say that number is more like seventy or even eighty percent, especially among the current crop of young people. At forty-one, I was one of the oldest people in the parking lot besides my husband. An astounding amount of people were so fat, they could barely walk a distance of seventy-five feet from car to movie theater door. The word “waddle/wattle” comes to mind, not only to describe their ambulation but also the giant, flapping things under their chins where their necks should have been. Perhaps I will say more about the obesity phenomenon and the car culture fueling it in a future essay. For now, I will wrap up this part of the discussion by commenting that it’s a damn shame that kids half my age are wasting the best, healthiest, sexiest years they’ll ever see on oversized corn syrup drinks, chemical cheese goo-product, and barbecued pig corpses with fries.
What do a bunch of fat people have to do with Josh Duggar, the reality show Christian zealot whose parents swept their teenage boy's serial sexual abuse of his younger sisters and various other little girls under the rug? And what does any of it have to do with abortion?
In a word, patriarchy. In two? Abrahamic religions.
Christianity is one of three nature-hating death worship cults that sprung to world domination after the fall of the Roman Empire. Judaism, the least of the cults, has been persecuted for reasons I'll never truly understand, so maybe someone can inform me. Islam is a brand of Abrahamic religion that claims to be about peace but is really about submission or the not-so-nice term for it, slavery. Islam is Christianity's equal in hypocrisy and oppression. Muslims just do a better job of following their insane orders than Christians, hence the animosity between two who are clearly fraternal twins.
All three Abrahamic orthodoxies enforce a pathological hatred of Gaia by placing mankind (with womankind at his beck and call) at the top of a pyramid scheme rigged for Apocalypse. The trees? Cut them down; there will be more of them in the next world, where they will be taller and sparkly and produce fruit constantly. The animals? They are here for our use, so we can skin them and eat them and make them haul our loads of chopped-down trees, or dance for us when we are bored. Nature and its complex majesty is nowhere near good enough is what the three fatherly religions say: it's all about Heaven and what hoops one must jump through to get there. Also, it doesn't really matter what you do while you're on Gaia just as long as you truly ask for forgiveness right before you die, even though there is supposedly a rule about doing unto others. There are also rules about persecuting gays, Hindus, shellfish eaters, female teachers, or anyone else who doesn't fit into the Bible's mold of Golden City-bound righteousness.
The whole mess is fueled by a pathological fear of death. Almost all human beings come to the precipice of psychotic break when they are faced by the idea that they might completely lose their current idea of consciousness when they physically die. In order to avoid the extreme dissonance of such a possibility, most people's egos go insane with rationalizations. Patriarchal, zombie unigod religions are currently de rigueur. Atheists and agnostics, or those who apparently have overcome a fear that is supposed to be innate and chronic, are thusly hated by the faithful, much like an alcoholic on his last three viable liver cells resents the happy teetotaler bicycling around the nursing home.
Christians have a conveniently packaged dogma that, much like a video game, gives them an imaginary set of rules in book form that enables them to get to the Final Boss so they may escape Eternal Death. When you dwell in a reality that is merely a pathway to another level with a bigger payload/boss, you may cherry pick which rules you think will get you to the better, more luxurious level.
The only rule that is an absolute must for avoiding Eternal Death is faith. Faith, or the deliberate act of sticking your fingers in your ears and screaming "No-no-no-no!" when presented with evidence contrary to your beliefs, is the sine qua non of all successful religions. Any of the other rules can be bent, modified, or perverted according to whim. Especially one as silly as overeating, to which Proverbs 23:2 suggests:
"And put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony."
The Bible, book of love and peace, tells us in no uncertain terms to attempt suicide if we cannot help a habit of compulsive binge eating. Okay.
The Bible also condemns homosexuals, lumping them in the same general categories as overeaters and adulterers, labeling them as just another set who cannot control their Earthly longings. So one might find it surprising that one of the most revered editions of the Bible, the King James Version, was compiled by a flaming homosexual. Often affectionately referred to as Queen James, "the wisest fool in Christendom" paraded his lusty homoerotic exploits to the chagrin of his court and his country. For a group that has made a sport of murdering witches and persecuting gays, Christians seem awfully unapologetic about stamping the name of a known Sodomite on a prized edition of their holy book.
The reason it's hunky dory to become the Greyhound bus version of yourself in 'Murica is because you are allowed to immolate yourself without dying the true death. Mortification of the flesh and overconsumption of the non-boss level planet you are stuck on for now is encouraged. Why tread lightly when you can personally collect all the gold coins and mana? It's all going to get blown up in the end, at any rate.
Christianity is a capitalist's religion: even in its sheepherder beginnings, the point was to be born male and to amass as many heads of cattle/goats/women as possible. The big problem there is when you don't think of women as actual human beings and when your admiration of them is confined to awe of the power they lord over you with their beguiling, concave genitalia and mammary glands, you are going to inevitably turn to children, animals, and even other men when your demonic male hormones gain the upper hand (with no lack of assistance from your meaty, milky GMO-rich diet). I would venture a bet there is not a single Christian child-molester or closet buggerer who views women as sentient equals.
A sentient equal would be entitled to control what happens inside her own body, even when the biological process is as important to the species as birth. None of the patriarchal, capitalist sects want any part of that, so they seek to enforce control over the fetus growing inside the female drone, though they will hasten to abandon the offspring once it is born and requires social services and welfare.
If religions eventually die of their own hypocrisy, which I believe they all do, Christianity, Islam, and Judaism are in a very extended hospice. Unfortunately, I suffer from a belief that the patriarchal mandate to overpopulate Gaia with 7.3 billion and counting will result in the sort of nastiness that occurs in a Petri dish of yeast when a spoonful of sugar is introduced. Unlike when Christians try to produce proof of the non-existence of the true death, my suspicions keep being bolstered by hard, concrete evidence. Unlike the good and righteous faithful, I hope my assumptions are wrong.