Reblogging my most recent article at the Pagan Activist blog, Why We Care About Cecil in which I try to unpack the nation’s reactions to the news about the lion Cecil and my reactions to their reactions.
I’m writing to share a huge success story. A larger success than I ever imagined. Last year, 400 million fewer animals were killed in the U.S. than in 2007. That’s more lives saved in America than there are American citizens.
As a vegan I would love to take credit. But it’s not just vegans and vegetarians; in fact it’s not even mostly us. Most of those lives were spared by people who are simply eating less meat. It’s a known trend that as societies get wealthier they demand more animal products, but that trend is being reversed in the U.S.
I understand misanthropy. True confession -- I have a complete set of serial killer trading cards, collected at the ripe old age of nineteen. I made tasteless jokes about Team Ebola during the pandemic scare, albeit in my private Facebook groups. I often root for the monsters in slasher films.
There is no love lost between me and the human race. I get it. Still, I try to keep my misanthropy well in check because in brief, I am not a fool.
I have a thousand reasons why I chose not to be a mother and hating children is not one of them. One of the biggies is the profound dysfunction with which our culture views mothers. On one hand, motherhood is deified not only by Christian legacy but by secular folk at large -- we are constantly bombarded by images of idealized motherhood in stories, television, and magazines. One of my earliest memories is having a lot of baby dolls thrust in my general direction. Even at age four, I was creeped out by the idea of being groomed to pretend I was nursing my own infant with a bottle.
You may wonder just how my convoluted little brain ties together the rise of the American obese, the prevalence of kiddy-diddlers and homosexuals among seemingly innocuous old guys, and a woman's right to choose to have an abortion. Or perhaps you don't wonder at all. It doesn't matter -- I'll tell you anyway!
So you may have heard Beyoncé became vegan. She was last seen liberating chickens for ALF after an entire week of vegan food truck advocacy in the poorest food deserts in New York City. She plans on visiting the Catskill Animal Sanctuary this summer where she will perform a free benefit for the animals. The concert promises to be the event of the season.
Vegans never ever get cancer. Never EVER! That's right folks, a vegan diet is the perfect magic bullet against all disease. If you would like to have a perfect, cellulite-free body, you should go vegan. The second you embrace a plant-based diet, all your fat will instantly melt away and you'll be able to strut the beach in a lumpy, G-string Speedo/three strategically-placed pasties with nary a jiggle. Your disease-proof body will be free for at least a hundred years of diabetes, cancer, heart disease, chronic fatigue, moles, warts, and mosquito bites.